The Truth About Advice
I don't consider myself very stubborn, but I've heard otherwise from those in my life. In fact, I've been told that I was just "one of those kids that had to learn for herself," meaning that, no matter how often my parents warned or advised, the lesson never *stuck* until I learned it first-hand.
Examining where I am today, I can say little has changed.
While I still seek out advice (versus the lecture-like advice foisted upon me as a kid), most learnings, the ones that shift my mindset and behavior, don't stick unless I go *through* them.
Until I face the frustration, uncertainty, anxiety, and clarity of tough experiences, the subsequent life lesson doesn't get hard-wired into my brain.
Think about all the advice we seek and absorb from day-to-day: Podcast interviews, blog posts, news, books—even TV.
As a society, we love advice and guidance, usually in the form of tips, tricks, and hacks.
Seeking advice is pain avoidance. We're seeking guidance and wisdom, but deep, deep down, we're also looking to skip the pain of making the wrong choice, doing something irreversible, or looking like a fool in the process.
Advice and guidance may also provide a place to point a finger if our choice *is* wrong, controversial, or questioned. Again—avoiding the pain of shouldering the full weight of our decision.
Now consider the lessons you've learned through life experience, failure, pain, and practice. I'd bet those lessons take up more real estate in your brain than any expert aphorisms.
Life lessons are hard (and usually leave a healthy dose of regret in their wake), but they're arguably more meaningful than anything we can learn from anyone else.
This post was written as a part of Ship 30 for 30. Read the original essay on my Twitter.
